(by popular demand) the shit in my head/life

[Judahideen]

ok i guess i'll take this on categorically and chronologically


Racism i grew up in Washington heights in a primarily black and Dominican neighborhood in a small communitiey of german jews almost all of whom either were refugees or children of.
and you know any tight nit community will have some hostility towards outsiders.but my big brother is from Colombia and is really short with really dark skin.im super white with pale skin skinny blond hair, also i was super quite so i could be some where and no one would pay any antention.
so here is the earliest memory, i have of racist fucks this is way before high school but i must have been old enough to understand
any way the main charater is a really nice really "pious" sort, any one who goes to church knows the type, from the out side iis just stereotyped clean cut fellow. any way me and my class mates his son included are driving iin his van, driving about our neighborhood we approach a red light and stop.... and the following occurs.
*black man crosses the street
*said driver turns around to announce to the whole van(im sitting in the back and heard loud and clear.
"WOW look at that kids, you sure would not want to run in to a Nigger like that in a dark ally.
that word would come up again and again always indoors and always the same people,(although never once when i was with my brother).
any way most of the situations are totaly gone from my memory and that was the first time i really remember feeling uncomfortable around my "people" .
my father having been very sick both physically and mentally with a really short fuse brought on some unpleasant situations. to spair the deatails here are think he would call my brother regularly, spic, nigger, ingun, louse, and many more in many creative combination.
Racism section 3 .... school
nothing to much worse than what has already been written has accord in school accept for my brother getting expelled(kicked permanently out)for a thing i did not even get a suspension for. most every thing else i try to brush of as just childish stupidity
israelthis is where it really takes off, all the lines are drawn and sides must be taken, are you with us or with our enimeies, who were not just seprated by "race" but by religion to. but it seems to fall in to a new catigory... nationalism.
be a patriot! any thing you do for the state helps all your brothers and sisters in struggle.
these people want to kill you for no reason, we are just gona get to it first.
they dont care about life they just have child after child to send to blow them selves up.
they are barely even human and what ever humanity they did have the forfeit threw actions.
the end result was that i did internalize alot of this.
so when i said in another post that an iraqi insurgent who would killl me on the spot would be right and i would be wrong. that is how i feel if you can even for a second accept you place in a group. you can not blame their victims for lumping you in with them. thats how the world works. and i accept being hated for who i am in places you can't expect people to rationly decided is this an enemy or should i talk to him and see what he think. no we live in a violent world were collective punishment is the norm.
so like i said i accept the hatred of my self by others i have never personally wronged.
i also accepted the militarist stance of israel. that is to use violence as a primary means of communication with your enemy. although i don't at the moment have any i can not condem terrorist attack on this ground they are right and justified.
we have always heard on the news media about how come muslims never protest sucide bombings and such
i'd agree with that if after september 11 Americans all rallied to call for the usa government to stop bombing iraq, but no they rallied to the call of blind revenge.... and so that where we are.

the other thing is being adopted i have no real "racial" heritage i have no idea where my family is from although i think i have some scottish in me thats as detailed as i can get. and so tend to find my self very alienated from any race related shit.
i know im white and i know people have the right to hate me for it. my responsibility is not to put down people who have suffered at the hands of
a group i am technically apart of and can receive many privileges from,(see comment never been stoped by a cop in my life)
no my responciblity is to through my actions and word show people that i am my self alone and i will do all in my power to rectify the wrongs i can see and all i can to not take part in the wrongs that i cant see. and through time and example we will simply forget all this skin color nonsense.


the end for the moment i try to add another topic tonight

[shakur420]

(03-09-2010 05:23 PM)Judahideen Wrote:  so here is the earliest memory, i have of racist fucks this is way before high school but i must have been old enough to understand
any way the main charater is a really nice really "pious" sort, any one who goes to church knows the type, from the out side iis just stereotyped clean cut fellow. any way me and my class mates his son included are driving iin his van, driving about our neighborhood we approach a red light and stop.... and the following occurs.
*black man crosses the street
*said driver turns around to announce to the whole van(im sitting in the back and heard loud and clear.
"WOW look at that kids, you sure would not want to run in to a Nigger like that in a dark ally.

(03-09-2010 05:23 PM)Judahideen Wrote:  israelthis is where it really takes off, all the lines are drawn and sides must be taken, are you with us or with our enimeies, who were not just seprated by "race" but by religion to. but it seems to fall in to a new catigory... nationalism.
be a patriot! any thing you do for the state helps all your brothers and sisters in struggle.
these people want to kill you for no reason, we are just gona get to it first.
they dont care about life they just have child after child to send to blow them selves up.
they are barely even human and what ever humanity they did have the forfeit threw actions.
the end result was that i did internalize alot of this.

(03-09-2010 05:23 PM)Judahideen Wrote:  so when i said in another post that an iraqi insurgent who would killl me on the spot would be right and i would be wrong. that is how i feel if you can even for a second accept you place in a group. you can not blame their victims for lumping you in with them. thats how the world works. and i accept being hated for who i am in places you can't expect people to rationly decided is this an enemy or should i talk to him and see what he think. no we live in a violent world were collective punishment is the norm.
so like i said i accept the hatred of my self by others i have never personally wronged.
i also accepted the militarist stance of israel. that is to use violence as a primary means of communication with your enemy. although i don't at the moment have any i can not condem terrorist attack on this ground they are right and justified.
we have always heard on the news media about how come muslims never protest sucide bombings and such
i'd agree with that if after september 11 Americans all rallied to call for the usa government to stop bombing iraq, but no they rallied to the call of blind revenge.... and so that where we are.

Respect man.