Poems / Lyrics that I wrote in Study Hall

[33 Degrees]

I was just reading over my rhyme book that I would write in sometimes during school, while I was on the bus, etc. Haven't really shared any of it with anyone besides my girlfriend because she likes to read some, but I aint gonna share those fruity ones with yall haha. I kind of mashed a few together here so my bad if they don't flow too well

Word up, I be dissin' emcees
Mono y mono, like the kissing disease
You can find me at my place trippin' on them trees
or in the studio, rippin' M-I-C's.
When I grab a mic there aint no stoppin' me
I'll eat up a faggot rapper like hes broccoli
3rd eye no longer trapped in an isosceles
stood at the foot of Hell before I shot the beast
a revolutionary who wants the peace
but if the police try poppin' me, I bust back Lord apologies...
in the meantime I write mean rhymes with no hook
the time gets passed like Rajon Rondo, no look
fuck wilyin out, I'd rather stay home and read a book
and make up for lost time that these hoes took.
Mind so violent I'm an apprentice of Freddy Kruger
Fuck stabbin' a voodoo doll, I come at it with a bazooka
Defeating me, son you know that's fictitious
Your hopes dreams and wishes will be diminished in a single sentence.
Your full of bullshit like a speech from Obama
Impeach him tommora
"Oh don't worry America, we deceased Osama!"

[The Stoned Raj]

personally i'd be interested in some of the other poems you've written. This is very good lyrically in my opinion, i'd like to see something you've done that has a more passionately driven message. Also, what I'd say seperates a poem from a rap is that a poem should contain no filler, every bar to word should be relevant and precise, so when you're putting together a final piece i'd suggest removing any filler and not worry about the length, you can always add more.

[Chino]

^ agreed

[33 Degrees]

Got it man, thanks for the advice!