What is the difference between clint eastwood and anal sex?

One of them makes your day, the other makes your hole weak.

LMAO!

R.I.P. Sadia, My Beloved Sister

R.I.P. Fares Odeh
...A true Soldier...

lmao.. good one.

I got two that are disturbing.. I know someone's gonna say they're un-called for. Muahah.

Q: What do they call the hair in between your grandmother's breasts?
A: A vagina.

Q: What bangs on metal, and Definitely does NOT like sex??
A: The six-year old in my trunk.

Lmao..

^lolololol 6 years old

Q:what's brown and sticky....?
A:A stick

Q:What type of horse has a dick on it's back?
A:A Police Horse

Q:When is it bedtime @ Michael Jacksons
A:When the big hand touches the little hand

Q:what's the best thing about fucking 36 year olds
A:There's 30 of em

^ LMAO you bastard!

R.I.P. Sadia, My Beloved Sister

R.I.P. Fares Odeh
...A true Soldier...

I start my job at a restaurant tomorrow.
I can't wait.

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Remember - drinking alcohol can seriously harm your baby.
Especially if you’re in Portugal and can't be arsed to pay for a babysitter.

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I caught my son listening to a song called ''Smack my Bitch Up''.

I took him to one side and explained it wasn't big or clever to hit women.

''But Dad,'' he said ''it's not about that at all. It's about injecting women with heroin so they can be manipulated into prostitution.''

I apologised for my mistake.

What has 132 teeth and holds back a huge monster.

Answer: My zipper.

haha that^ reminded me of another joke

Q:how do u get a pound out of a fly?
A:unzip it

Q:How many psychiatrists does it take 2 change a lightbulb
A: Just one... but it has 2 want 2 change

I was feeling sick so I went 2 see a chinese doctor, he got me 2 strip naked n crawl across tha floor.. he then told me I had the Ed Zachary disease..

my face rook ed zachery rike my ass!!

An old lady and an old man are sitting in their retirement home.
The man turns to the woman and says,"I bet you can't tell how old I am."
She says,"Okay."
She then unzips his fly, feels around for a while and finally says, "You're 83."
"That's amazing!" the man exclaims. "How did you know that?" he asks.
She replies, "You told me yesterday."

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne?

Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 14.

Metaphysics | Spiritual Awakening

Bulimics are such attention seekers. They're always bringing it up.